Please rate my College Application essay on a 1-10 scale. (10 best)?
just a short application essay. please rate, thank you very much! It's sunday morning, and it's Christmas Eve. My plane from New York has just arrived in Rome, and I am making my way through customs. My family has a tradition of visiting the Vatican for the famous Christmas Day Mass, which is much easier for my family because they live in Rome. We are all planning on meeting up tomorrow in the Vatican square to witness the service. Unfortunately i was looking forward to a Christmas in New York this year, i've wanted to have a white Christmas for years. I guess that won't be happening this year. As i finish up in customs, i catch a taxi to my hotel just inside the Vatican square. I tip the driver, and proceed through thee archaic corridor like alley that leads to my hotel. The fifth building to the right i remind myself. Eventhough i've been coming here for years, i still manage to get lost. As soon as i find my hotel, i get the key from the desk worker, find my room, and settle in for the night. Boom!Boom!Boom! Deep thuds five times louder than thunder shake my entire room. Boom!Boom! As the sounds continue, I scramble outside to find Vatican square in shambles.The apocolyptic air surrounding this once holy place has poisoned my lungs. Each step i take, the damage seems to multiply. Beautiful golden framework, magnificent keystones, magestic butressess---all replaced with rubble. Ashes plague my vision, the only color is black, save the blood stained stairs leading up to the main cathedral. As my eyes climb the stairs, i see a lone object...the Pope's golden Mitre. It is laying upright, surrounded by flowers. Taken aback by the horrific scene, i sit down where i was standing. The white ash continues to fall like snow;it's a white Christmas after all. it hasnt been adjusted grammatically yet. i wrote it quickly just as a plot idea, it's not my actual essay, so calm down. just wanted a plot assessment. and let's make it constructive criticism so you don't go insulting my intelligence because you will just make yourself seem stupid.
Higher Education (University +) - 4 Answers
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5
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4-5
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4. You want to get into college? Yes, they are definitely going to accept someone who doesn't even use capitals on their "I" and "I've". And this "proceed through thee archaic corridor like alley that leads to my hotel"... Yeah... That needs fixing.
4 :
It would help to know the essay/personal statement prompts to be able to rate. Also, Christmas Mass at the Vatican does not take place the next morning. It is a Midnight Mass and takes place Christmas Eve.
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