Im not allowed to wear pants....ever?
Ok, before you start rambling on about how we dont live in the 1800s, please read. I am part of a traditional (pre vatican II) church, where all the women and girls wear skirts.....all the time. My family is very close to a number of families there, and basically most of my social life revolves around church people (Which I dont really mind!) My boyfriend of three years is a part of an extremely conservative family, and all his sisters wear long skirts. I am 19 years old and in college. I live at home with my dad, who would flip if he even knew that I would really prefer pants. The thing is, I am sick of wearing skirts every day, and people find it so strange at college and I'm not sure how to explain it to them. I'm so sick of being different form the world. The problem is however, that if I started wearing pants, it would ruin my reputation at my church (yes, they would all find out) because they believe women in pants is immodest. My boyfriend would hate it too...because hes ultra conservative. My dad would make my life miserable, and would always make rude comments about how ridiculous I look in jeans. So basically if I start wearing pants, I would have to move out of my house, my boyfriend ashamed, and cause a "scandal" to all my Catholic friends and ruin my reputation. My whole life would change. But I really wan tto wear pants. I want to enjoy my college life and have fun with my own sense of style. I don't know what to do. Please don't criticize. I already understand what time period we're living in...but their philosophy is that "the modern world is a battle". Please try to understand my circumstances and give some good advice! I will give maximum points to whoever can help me out the most! Thanks!
Fashion & Accessories - 23 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sorry, I didn't read all of your question. Try using paragraphs next time. If you want to wear pants, wear pants. Who cares about your boyfriend, mother, father, great grandfather etc. They can get the heck over it and still love and accept you or disown you. Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?
2 :
I say that you are your own person. I think you should be abble to choose what you want to wear and not be criticized for it. Just because you decide that you want to wear pants instead of skirts, doesnt mean that you are giving up part of your religion, and if your boyfriend doesnt like it, then he can leave. [not trying to be mean, just stating my opinion] Any boyfriend who is not going to support your decisions, shouldnt be in your life. Dont let what other people think, ruin your way of thinking, or your life. If you want to wear pants, then by all means, DO SO! You are your own person, people shouldnt judge you for what you wear. Thats all im gonna say.
3 :
Do what you want to do, don't let people boss you around. If you want to wear pants wear them, if your boyfriend can't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.
4 :
I'm Catholic too, but my church doesn't make me wear skirts. But, I'm not saying your wrong, of course. Anyways, go with your senses. You know, your parents might get angry and upset with you but they will definitely get over it and forgive you in time. They're your parents. They love you and care about you. Your an adult now, its your life. Take control of it(: But who am I to tell you what to do? Its your choice right? Follow your heart. But I'd go with the pants. Don't let them put you down about how "ridiculous" you'd look in jeans. You'd look cute and chic. Go for it girl. Let me know how it turns out.
5 :
Isn't that sexist? Boys may wear pants, but girls cannot. I mean, honestly, religion shouldn't say how you should look, but how you feel. Say wearing pants won't change how you feel about your religion.
6 :
I think you should wear pants and who cares what ever people think. If people didn't cut open each other during the time of the BLACK plague or when scientist wanted to find deases we would all be dead by now cause the catholic church said no the catholic church makes everything into a big deal im not against religion but I think religions should make decisions and ways of thinking into reasonable things and think of people along the way. And as people say history repeats its self.
7 :
It depends, how much do you want to stay with your boyfriend and please your family? You're 19. You can decide for yourself and if you want to wear pants, then wear pants. But just remember the consequences.
8 :
leave your boyfriend and wear pants....It's ok to be modern for some people but n't for the whole universe
9 :
I'm Catholic too (but post Vatican II era). :]. Best advise I have is to gradually transform if you believe you want to start wearing pants. You have to wear night gowns and appropriate clothes to bed, right? Buy some pajama pants (keep it modest) and a robe and slowly transistion there. Maybe your Father won't get on you too bad for wearing pj pants bc it's not like you'll wear them in public. See how they make you feel. My boyfriend's mom used to be very traditional and never cut her hair and always wore skirts... Then one day she broke away from the "rules" and cut her hair and started wearing jeans. You know what happened next? She got looked down on for a few months and then other friends and family members began to do the same. They got upset with her because they secretly wished they had the guts to wear pants too. Now the women in his family all wear whatever they feel like and it's not as big of a deal. Good luck with whatever you choose.
10 :
Who is paying for your college education? If it's your father, then I would just put up with his rules until I graduated and moved away from home. As soon as you can pay your own way, you can dress how you wish. I think that wearing pants is probably just one, among many, things you would like to do differently. But it will all have to wait until you can start working and take care of your own bills. College is a time to find out about who you are, separate from your parents and what they believe. Good luck with your journey of discovery and try to be patient right now.
11 :
are you allowed to wear leggings under your skirt? sorry i changed the subject but why don't u just tell your dad what you really want to wear i know its scary but u want to wear jeans don't u ? and if it doesn't work wait until ur out of college then wear jeans:)
12 :
ok....try this-talk this over with your mom, and maybe ask if you can wear pants that don't really show eny figure.....like not parachute but a little loose......like not skinny jeans....but plain pants.:)
13 :
Try talking to them, and if you are set on wearing pants say "Rather you like it or not I choose to wear pants, but please don't disown me. Especially over something thats not going to hurt anyone physically. If you love and care about me like you say you do, you couldn't just stop talking to me. " And I'm sure you could think of more to say, but like the main point you know =]
14 :
This is not uncommon. I suggest that you continue to wear skirts because there are some really cute knee length skirts. But if you really don't feel comfortable any more, wear pants. You are your own person and if your boyfriend is ashamed and dumps you, so be it because he probably did not deserve you anyway.
15 :
Wow! I wear jeans almost everyday! I basically live in them! Sit down with your parents and talk to them about everything. Tell them your reasons to want to wear pants. I'm sure they would be okay with you wearing pants maybe 2-3/7 days a week. They can't really control you your whole life, and your 19, for goodness sakes! Becoming your own person in style and still keeping your beliefs is perfectly okay! And it's not even like wearing pants is slutty or showing too much skin!!
16 :
They are extreme in their views. I mean controlling what you wear? How old are you? There is a huge difference between Controlling and Caring! They seem to care only for what others think within that religion. It is not offensive to wear pants. Just look at the fashionable styles that are very conservative, flattering and very practical. When it is possible, leave home. Start a new life where you can be free and happy and make some new friends who will like you just how you are - without people forever trying to controll you. Don't be a victim, enjoy life, you know it is not bad to wear pants.
17 :
its your life and you should be able todo whatever you want with it.i dont blame you...i wouldnt want to wear long skirts at all.if your dad doesnt like it,he'll get over it in time,if your bf cant handle it,then find someone who can.your 19 and i collage.your grown up,u can decide what you wear
18 :
Wow. i totally feel 4 you girl. Its totally normal to me. I see people from all other religions wearing skirts, everyfay at my school because of their religion too. I know exactly what you are going through. With my religion it is wrong to attend dances. This ruins my life as i am in high school and I guess you understand how mortifying it is to say because of my beliefs I can't attend. I say wear pants to college when you don't see your parents. Then when you see them wear a skirt. good luck hope it helps
19 :
It sounds to me like you don't really want to be part of this world anymore... you're going to have to move out/ move on ONE day, so if the only resolution is for you to move out, you might want to look into it. As for your boyfriend & community, there IS such a thing as taking a belief too far. If they can't like you for who you are, then maybe there's something more thats wrong with this picture. Wear pants in secret at college until they find out, then if the consequences are too harsh to handle, move out.
20 :
if you want to wear jeans wear jeans forget your boyfriend,mom ,dad and everybody yea your still going to be part of your own tradition but the world has changed and they don't realize it wear you jeans it won't change a bit yea ppl will talk trash but ignore them and if you have to move out to wear jeans then move cuz it's worth it!
21 :
I think you should just wear pants You are you're own person, not someone else and you should be able to explore your own style. Besides, I thought if someone was truly your friend/boyfriend/relative (or whatever else you mentioned) they would judge you for what's inside, not how you dress, no matter how you were raised or what church you go to or whatever You are you and that's good enough
22 :
Okay, I actually read your question, and I think you should do what makes you feel best. Try it and see if it is better. If you feel out of place and you get "looks" tell them they should accept you as you are and if they care about you they shouldn't mind if you wear pants. Start a rebellion. Then, later on, if your kids go there, they wont have to wear skirts and can choose. The modern world isn't a battle, it is a revolution.
23 :
Well, this feels something that I went through in my younger ages. All though I am still young. LOl. My father was a preacher of a local church, and to wear pants was a sin, it was like you dishoned not only your family, but God. I stayed with this image of pants for a very long time until I hit the bottom of a pit, and realized that God doesn't stop loving you for what you wear, he loves you for your heart, your sincerity to him, your passion for him. Therefore, what you wear doesn't give you a ticket to heaven (or whatever you believe in). This whole skirt thing was made up by rituals that happened back in the days. It has nothing to do with your faith. All though some people try to emphasize that in order for you to be faithful you must abide by wearing a skirt or something not to sexy. I'm not saying wear sexy clothing but you are a young girl, and you have so much learning to do. There are so many things you will go through, and there are things where you will have to make a choice on your own. The only thing I can tell you is don't be a follower be a leader, take risk. Life is about enjoying it, loving it, and having fun, it's not about being manipulated and feeling like the whole world is having fun but you. Hope all goes well. Don't go by what people say go by what you feel in your heart. Do you really think that if you wear pants you will go to (hell)? or will you be judged differently? think about it.
Read more discussions:
